Admitting when we’ve done wrong–especially when we have already started down the path of lying and trying to cover up–is a hard thing, even for us grown-ups. Often, with the kids at afterschool, it takes an awful lot of asking and urging to get some of our youngest ones to be honest when they have done something “bad.” And half the time, even by the end of a long heart-to-heart, I’m not 100% sure we really got to the whole truth of what happened–who hit who first, what belongs to who, whether something was done on purpose or by accident. This is what makes the seemingly small exchange between Tooson and Kissiah at after-school this past Friday so special and so worthy of celebration.
This past Friday, while rehearsing a big dance number some of the kids will be performing at our end-of-afterschool party coming up in late June, Tooson and Kissiah got into a bit of a “kerfuffle” as group leader Kyle put it. There was hitting, there was yelling, there were tears. When Kyle took them aside to work through it, it came to light that Tooson had hit Kissiah. Tooson then insisted that she had pinched him first. Kissiah insisted she had not done any pinching and became very upset–feeling wrongly accused. They had reached an impasse. So Kyle, instead of pressuring or simply making a verdict, lay the situation before them. ”I’m hearing two different stories. So, where do we go from here?” Something interesting happened in Tooson, five years old, in that moment. It is a rare, rare thing for him to admit a lie or admit he was the one to “start” something. But, faced with a friend in tears, an adult who would love him regardless of whether he started it or not, and a God who tells him that it is not his wrongs that define him but the Tooson God meant and is transforming him to be, Tooson admitted he had lied. Kissiah hadn’t pinched him.
Tooson and Kissiah dancing up a storm during worship time.
To grown-up eyes, this might seem like a small and unimpressive act. But for a five-year-old, who could so easily have avoided the potential consequences of admitting he “started it,” this was an act of courage and integrity. And God provided another small miracle from the other side of the fence. Kissiah, without any prompting from Kyle, told Tooson that she forgave him and rushed over to give a big hug.
I couldn’t help but notice later in the day, during worship time, Kissiah and Tooson were stuck to each other like glue. God can bring beautiful things from the ashes–a new, strengthened friendship from an experience of conflict and hurt. His kingdom isn’t just a renewed place or setting–it’s renewed relationships and emotions. It’s healing–every possible meaning of the word. He’s making a new masterpiece of the world and He chooses each of us to be His materials, tools and workers. It was awesome to see Him moving in Tooson and Kissiah on Friday–a small glimpse of His beautiful work in progress.
